Saturday, March 17, 2012
Oh no! Not freaking again?
When I started training last September for the D.C. Turkey Trot in November, 2011, I initially stated “this was a bad idea.”
Well, here I am in need of someone to check my mental state because I plan on running it again.
Really? Clyde, don’t you remember what happened last Thanksgiving? You ran a 36:27, almost a minute slower than you did in your practice 5K in Dayton a month earlier. Your poor wonderful Washington D.C. lobbyist daughter had to watch in pain as she tried to cheer you on while she nearly walked the course. And, above all insults, a guy in a turkey suit beat you to the finish line in downtown D.C.
You’d be lucky if they even allow you register again.
Well, this obsession to embarrass myself in front of thousands of people is even worse this year. I made a New Year’s Resolution to run . . . jog . . . participate in at least four 5Ks this year instead of two. Yeah, something is really wrong with me. There are several logical reasons for me doing this. Yes, really. Logical reasons.
1. I love food. Because I love food, I’ve gained about 20 pounds from the 5K run and I need a good excuse to lose weight while eating.
2. I need more comical material for my Toastmaster speeches. Needless to say, I’m sure my training will provide me with many more moments to laugh at myself once again.
3. My daughter hates me. Okay, maybe that’s just a little over the top, but I feel like I owe it to her to run a little better at the next Turkey Trot. While, she doesn’t have to run with me like last year, I would like to make her proud by beating my slow poke time of 36:27.
4. I’m ready to donate my knees to science. They ache, creak, in pain and I figure even if I walk four 5Ks this year, the best scientists in Indiana will be willing to take them off my hands for a pretty good price. Maybe they’ll give me two of those bionic knees as replacements that will allow me to jump over buildings and beat people to the buffet line. We can hope.
5. I want to participate in four 5Ks this year because I have nothing better to do.
There you have it, sad but true. Wish me luck on this trek once again to . . . participate in the D.C. Turkey Trot. Yeah, it’s still not a good idea.